Hi love,

Today’s Love After 35 story made me cry when I first read the submission. IT IS SUCH A GOOD STORY (Sorry didn't mean to shout!)
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I love it because it is a perfect example of what happens when you finally stop waiting for your life to begin and decide to live it anyway.

It’s from Jennifer, who met her partner at 36, just weeks before she was supposed to leave for a year of solo travel. After spending almost 5 years single, watching friends get married and have kids, and finally accepting that maybe marriage and children weren’t on the cards for her, she made a bold decision: she got rid of her apartment, put all of her belongings in storage, and planned to spend the next year traveling.

Then there was a huge plot twist.

I love Jennifer’s story because it shows what happens when you let go of the timeline, focus on making your life beautiful on your own terms, and trust that what’s meant for you will find you- in a very unexpected way.

Here’s Jennifer’s story:

Age and where she met her partner

36, at a work event

How did you feel about being single before you met your partner?

I had been single for almost five years and I struggled a lot because all my friends were in that chapter of their lives (getting married and having kids). To be honest, I had finally accepted that maybe it just wasn’t in the cards for me. The reality is that not everyone gets married or has kids and so I decided to shift my way of thinking to “okay, and what if that’s the case for you, are you going to spend the rest of your life sad about it or are you going to make the most of your life?”

I realized that maybe I didn’t have a partner or kids but I had the freedom to make my life beautiful in other ways. So I made the decision to get rid of my apartment, put my stuff in storage and that I would spend the next year traveling. I truly believe that once you let go, and just focus on you and all the beautiful ways your life is amazing, things start to fall into place.

I had a whole plan of going to Florida for the winter. My lease was up in September and I was leaving on this new adventure! Turns out the universe had other plans haha. I met my partner in August, decided not to go to Florida and have traveled to England to see him a few times now instead. What are the odds that I had this plan to travel and I meet someone who lives in another country? I was already in the mindset that I was leaving home and now I’ve met someone that it would require me to leave home. I truly believe that my decisions led me on a path to meeting him and what usually could’ve been a really difficult thing (long distance, making the decision to move) is now not even a thought because I was already going to do it!

What I’ve learned is don’t be scared to take risks. Follow your heart and be authentically you and the things that are meant for you will find you.

How they met

My partner and I work for the same company but we both work remotely, me in Canada and him in England. My company was hosting an event in my city and the person who was in charge had never put on an event so I was asked to help support. Because of this I was asked to join a finance call (that I normally wouldn’t have been on). My partner works in finance so when the call started and he showed up on my screen my heart stopped. I don’t know what it was but I saw his face and I felt my whole body get butterflies.

After the call ended I messaged my friend (who works for the company and knew him) and asked her what his story was because I had this immediate attraction to him. She said he was one of her best guy friends and one of the nicest guys she knew. I couldn’t get him out of my head and hoped I’d need a reason to speak to him again.

To my surprise, my partner was asked to join us at the event as we needed someone on site to handle the finances. Because of this we ended up having a couple more calls together but didn’t speak outside of work related things at this point. But I could tell in the way he would respond to me that maybe he felt something too.

Fast forward a couple weeks and he arrived for the event. These events are long hours so we ended up spending a lot of time together that week but only in a professional capacity, however the connection between us was undeniable. On the last morning he was there I decided to ask him to breakfast but he had already eaten so he suggested we grab dinner before his flight home. Of course I accepted and went to meet him later that day.

We had dinner and I drove him to the airport. As we said our goodbyes I gave him a hug and felt this spark between us that I just didn’t want to let him go. I felt so much sadness that I had only just met him and wished we had more time together. Now he was heading back to England and I figured I’d probably never see him again.

He clearly felt the same because shortly after I left he had already messaged me saying he was sad he was leaving and that he felt this electricity between us as I hugged him goodbye. We spent the next few hours (almost the duration of his flight) talking and the rest is history. We spoke every day and FaceTimed every day from that point on.

He’s 36 as well, so we had most of the important conversations almost right away. We both agreed we’d never felt this before and agreed we were willing to do long distance and give this a real shot. I booked a flight to go see him only a couple weeks later and we’ve been together ever since. We’ve agreed not to go more than a month without seeing each other and we’re now planning for our future and when I’m going to move to England.

The really great thing about finding love later is things fall into place much faster. You know what you want and you’re not wasting time. It’s funny because I told him about the first time I saw him and what I felt on that first call and he said it’s crazy because when he saw me show up on his screen he immediately felt his heart stop and thought “uh oh, I’m in trouble” haha. It’s crazy to think we both felt the same thing having never spoken and it was this immediate feeling we both felt.

The universe has a really funny way of making what’s meant for you happen when you least expect it. So many things had to happen for me to be on that call, and he originally wasn’t even able to make the trip and had to reschedule things in order to be there. But he said all he could think was “I have to meet her, there’s no way I’m not going.” And now I’m so happy I waited and I didn’t settle. And now it makes so much sense why it didn’t work with anyone else, he’s my person.

What felt hard about love before meeting him?

It was hard to see (what felt like) everyone else finding someone and feeling like “what’s wrong with me?” If I’m being honest, I wasn’t very hopeful for a long time but I got to a place where I had to accept that this is where I’m at and I chose to make the best of my situation. I didn’t want to sit at home crying anymore. So that’s when I decided I was going to live my life to the fullest. I got a remote job so I could travel, I put my stuff in storage and got rid of my apartment so I could afford to travel. It was scary to make those decisions but it was much scarier thinking if I didn’t make a change now I could be sitting a year later in the same spot. Reframing my thinking was the most important thing I could’ve done.

What advice would you give someone who is looking for love in their thirties and thinks it is too late?

It’s not too late! I actually feel so happy to have found someone a little later because now I’m sure of what I want and I don’t feel like I’m giving anything up. I’ve lived such a beautiful life and gotten to experience so much! I actually feel ready now. I didn’t miss out on anything, I’ve had time to establish myself professionally and grow personally to be in a place where I truly feel ready to be a good partner and hopefully mother.

I have friends who settled down much earlier than me and so many of them have said “we live vicariously through you!” Because they didn’t have the freedoms I’ve had over the years. I never saw it that way but to be honest I actually see it that way now. I got to live and do all the things AND now I get the rest. Don’t give up hope but also don’t stop living!

Jennifer’s story is proof that sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is stop waiting and start living. Not as a distraction, not to fill time or in the hope that if you get busy you will attract love, but because your life right now deserves to be beautiful - whether you have a partner or not.

And here’s what I’ve learned from stories like Jennifer’s: when you make that shift, when you commit to making your life full and meaningful on your own terms, you become magnetic. You stop radiating “I’m waiting” and you start radiating “I’m living” ... that changes everything.
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There's no coincidence that these Love After 35 stories usually start with "I finally decided to stop crying at home feeling sorry for myself".

If you’re in that space right now - feeling stuck, wondering what’s wrong with you, tired of complaining about your single status- I want you to know that there is some action you can take and amazing support waiting for you. It is exactly why I created the Turning Community

Inside the Turning Community, we work on exactly this: how to stop waiting for your life to begin and start building a life so full and beautiful that when love does arrive, it’s the cherry on top, not the whole sundae. We support each other through the scary decisions, celebrate the bold moves, and remind each other that we’re not missing out - we’re living.

As you signed up to the Love After 35 special series you get a $50 discount when you sign up for the Quarterly option- which gives you the option to join for as little as $66 a month for the first three months! (the usual price is $99). Use code LOVEAFTER35 at the check-out page.

We are now half-way through our Love after 35 stories and I would love to hear how these stories are landing with you? Are they giving you hope? Do you have any ideas of what you can do differently to call in love this year?
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Reply to me and let me know- I read every response!

And don't forget to tune in tomorrow to hear Katie's story about love after 35!

With Love, ​
Emma x

Turning 30 Coach​
​www.turning30coach.com ​

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